Dialoguing With the Mind: How Words Shape the Body

The way we speak to ourselves matters far more than we realise. Not just through positive affirmations, but through meaningful, believable language that the mind and body can work with together.

Much of our experience is driven by the subconscious mind, which accounts for around 90% of our mental processing. This is where emotional memory, learned patterns and protective responses live. While the conscious mind may try to reason logically, the subconscious responds primarily to emotion, association and meaning and it often leads the way.

This is why emotions frequently override logic. The body doesn’t respond to what makes sense; it responds to what feels true.

We see this clearly in everyday life. Think of a food that once made you feel unwell. Even years later, the thought of eating it again can trigger a physical reaction a shiver, nausea, or discomfort. You’re not eating it, you can’t see it, yet your body responds as if the experience is happening again. One thought has created a physiological response.

This same mechanism applies to how we speak to ourselves.

When you tell yourself “I can’t do this” or “This isn’t safe”, the body listens. If you imagine stepping onto a stage and your inner dialogue says “Everyone will laugh at me”, the subconscious interprets that as threat. The body then works in alignment with that thought tightening the stomach, increasing heart rate, creating discomfort — all in an attempt to protect you from perceived danger.

The body isn’t sabotaging you. It’s cooperating.

This is why simply repeating positive words often doesn’t work. The subconscious doesn’t respond to language that feels forced or untrue. What it responds to are words that feel safe, believable and aligned with your nervous system.

Instead of saying “I’m confident” when your body feels tense, a more effective dialogue might be:
“I can feel nervous and still stay present.”
“My body is trying to protect me, and I can support it.”
“I don’t need to feel ready to take the next step.”

These phrases don’t override the body they work with it.

When the inner dialogue shifts from threat-based language to supportive, grounded language, the nervous system begins to regulate. As the body settles, the mind becomes clearer. This is where meaningful change happens not through force, but through cooperation.

Learning to dialogue with your mind in this way is a powerful skill. It allows thoughts to become tools rather than obstacles, and helps the body feel safe enough to move forward.

Because when the mind and body are working together, change doesn’t need to be pushed it becomes possible.

A Simple Exercise to Practise Supportive Inner Dialogue

Take a moment to notice a situation where you tend to feel stuck, anxious or hesitant. It might be something upcoming or something you often avoid.

1. Notice the automatic thought.
   What is the first sentence your mind offers? Write it down exactly as it appears, without judging it.

2. Notice how your body responds.
   Do you feel tension, tightness, nausea, a faster heartbeat or shallow breathing? Simply observe without trying to change anything.

3. Gently rephrase the thought.
   Choose words that feel believable and supportive, such as:
   “I can feel nervous and still move forward.”
   “My body is trying to protect me, and I can support it.”
   “I don’t need to feel ready to take the next step.”

4. Pause and notice again.
   Take a slow breath and observe whether anything shifts in your body, even slightly.

This exercise isn’t about forcing positive thinking. It’s about creating a dialogue your nervous system can respond to one that invites safety, steadiness and possibility